Since your break up, you have no doubt been asking yourself, “How will I ever survive this break up?” Such a question is the mantra of anyone who has been dumped and is brokenhearted.
Take A Break
The first thing you should do after a bad break up is to take a break from the relationship entirely. Even though you are now broken up, you undoubtedly are spending an enormous amount of time strategizing about ways to get your ex back.
Don’t make desperate attempts to soothe your ex back into the relationship by writing letters or emails begging to get back together. I realize you are brokenhearted, but an effective break up survival plan does not include acting as if your entire world has come crashing down.
Plan For Yourself
The process of break up survival includes a plan for yourself to direct your energies someplace else. Decide how you are to going to spend the next weeks and months by yourself to take stock of your life. It is totally unhealthy to completely shut down spiritually, emotionally, and socially.
Set goals for yourself in an effort to improve your spiritual life. Begin to attend religious services regularly if you don’t already. Improving your spiritual life will help you see that God has a unique and unrepeatable role for you.
Your entire being does not depend upon the approval or rejection of an ex. Try to keep your emotions under control. One of the most dangerous threats to effective break up survival is for you to become uncontrollably depressed. If you are having difficulty with extreme depression, talk out your difficulties with a close family member or friend.
Sometimes an objective listener can really help you see things differently and in a positive light. Seek professional help if you think it might be helpful. Remember, you are not insane. You are having a bad time getting on with life after a break up.
Don’t neglect your social life while you are working through a break up. As is often the case with couples, your social network may have developed around you and your ex as a couple. In case all your friends seem to be your ex’s friends as well, you will need to begin to develop some new social contacts outside the core “couple” group.
This can be difficult for you because when you are in break up survival mode, it might be hard to “go out” and find new friends. The best way to find new friends is to join an activity group.
There are lots of organizations that offer opportunities for participation in just about any field of interest. For example, you might consider joining a geocaching group. Or, maybe you’d like to take up karate, or painting, or sightseeing, or bird watching, or hockey, or yoga.
It really does not matter what particular activity you choose. Just make sure you commit yourself to an organized activity group and be friendly enough to strike up some new friendships. This way, you can begin to grow socially without reference to your ex.
Break up survival for the brokenhearted is challenging for even the most confident and experienced person. Remember not to neglect your spiritual, emotional, and social needs so that you are able to mature and expand your horizons. In the end, your ex may find you more attractive than ever before.